Health and Wellness
Success Stories!
I Quit Dieting
Marjie DeWilde
Classroom Teacher, Grades 3/4/5, Boyd Elementary
Age: 49
Starting Weight: 325 lbs
Today's Weight: 195 lbs
Total Weight Loss: 130 lbs
Challenges/ Excuses: Type II Diabetes, Migraines, Hypothyroid
In November of 2004, Just before I turned 44, my doctor told me I had to lose weight or I was facing diabetes. This wasn't a big surprise. Diabetes ran rife in my father's family, and I had had gestational diabetes two years before with my last baby, it also wasn't the first time I had been that obese, but this time I had two little ones to live for. If I was going to cheer at their graduations and weep at their weddings, I had to clean up my act.
So I joined, and then quit, Weight Watchers for at least the twentieth time. You'd think I'd learn from repeated failure, but I had to do something and, of all the diets I'd tried, it made the most sense and didn't make me feel sick. Having failed that, I was still left with the problem of how to stop killing myself with food.
Like most people, I had always had a saint or sinner, on or off, approach to dieting. When I was "on," I was a saint, eating only what was on the list. It would work for a while, and I would lose as much as fifty pounds. But I would stretch the rules until they snapped, then I would be "off," a sinner, scarfing down everything I loved until I talked myself into being "on" again. I'd pick the next Monday, or the 1st of the month, or some holiday, but many of those important days would slide by before I managed to collect myself and try again.
I finally realized that I had to start telling myself the truth. Everything counted whether I was standing up or sitting down, on or off, writing it down or not. Every activity, or the lack of it, mattered, perfectionism was an illness. I needed to learn the lesson for my self.
So I started getting a little better, really only a little, I age more salad and fewer burgers. I ordered fries less often. I shared dessert and put some healthy choices in my snack drawer. I stopped eating when I was full. I exercised when I could. I learned some more about nutrition. I told the truth to my doctor. The weight started to come off, not quickly, but every pound fell off for free because I wasn't suffering. I did eventually develop Type II diabetes which required that I improve all of my choices even more. But more weight came off. Occasionally, few pounds would come back on. But across six years, my average loss is over twenty pounds a year. Along the way, I learned some surprisingly simple things.
- Stop being perfect. Pretty good is just fine for the long run. And when life is grievously difficult, sort of good will do. When you can focus on your weight, go with it, and when you can't, go easy. At one point, I had a fractured skull, a double brain hemorrhage, and vertigo so profound that I couldn't walk. I had lost fifteen pounds in the hospital, so once I got home, my remaining brain cells decided to go easy for a couple of months.
- Stop making rules. Diets are full of rules. And when I broke them, I quit. Again and again. People who have heard I lost weight suggest all sorts of rules, some sensible, some weird, many including the word "no." I politely ignore them all. I don't even write down what I eat. When I weigh myself in the morning, I can reflect with enough clarity to figure out what needs to change.
- Stop setting unreasonable goals. Putting a two pound weight loss up against my 160 pound goal makes it meaningless. But against an interim 25 pound goal, it sounds much better. I spent twenty years beating myself up for not being perfect, and I finally realized that it ain't gonna happen.
- Go with your body. Stop eating when your hunger stops, not when you're full, and especially not when you're stuffed. I cringe when I watch my daughter's friends eat. I know where stuffing themselves leads. It makes no sense. We have full refrigerators and pantries, but we eat as if every meal is our last. The purpose of eating is to stop being hungry, yet we eat as if our bodies are the refrigerator, and if we don't keep it packed, it might go dangerously empty in an hour or two.
- Let your body lose. We naturally lose weight at times. I lose when I get sick or am struggling with my blood sugar. So why did I always feel obligated to pack it back on? As soon as I felt better, I sat around and ate. Talk about an inappropriate celebration. These are perfect times to eat a little better, exercise a little more, and celebrate being a little lighter.
- Hunger is a normal state. I actually feared hunger. I would snarf snacks in case I couldn't eat later. But hunger is what you're supposed to feel before a meal. I was surprised to find out that I didn't die from the discomfort. Honestly, it hurts worse to stub my toe, yet I was braver about wearing open-toed shoes than about possibly, maybe, being a little hungry.
- Pay attention to the good urgers. Stop when you don't feel like eating. Move when you feel like it. I was shocked to find that I had those feelings and had been overriding them. I actually ate when I didn't want to and refused to get up when I felt like it. Usually it was because I hadn't started my diet yet or I was reluctant to sweat. That even sounds dumb as I write it. Now, I play tag and run around the playground because it's fun! Who said teachers have to be serious?
- Find some wacky ways to exercise. I used to love volleyball, but I haven't found a team, so I've had to improvise. My students help me. Every recess, I'll feel a light tap and hear, "you're it!" When my daughters aren't making me jump on the trampoline, we argue over the Wii Fit. Now, that's a hoot. I stand on a balance board and flap my arms, pretend to ski jump, or do rhythm kung fu. My personal favorite, though, is running in the swimming pool. I feel weightless, never get too hot, work all sorts of muscles, hurt no joints, and can run forever. I'm a lousy runner on land, but in the pool, I'm a goddess.
- Turn off the TV or use your DVR. TV sucks me in, shuts down my brain, and keeps me from paying attention to the good urges. For some reason it isn't stimulating enough, so I don't move, but I do eat. I probably should start doing needlepoint again. Many years ago, when I was thin, I was always sewing while the TV was on. Maybe there's a correlation.
- Clean out your physical space. I got this one from Dr. Phil, but he was right. I can't eat what isn't there, but I will eat what my family leaves around. We've had a couple of family meetings about how bad Mommy's blood sugar can be when she has to encounter a buffet of junk food every time she walks through the kitchen.
- There will be more mashed potatoes, doughnuts, brownies, nachos, M&M's, whatever. I used to eat every opportunity food at every opportunity. I even created bonus opportunities. I finally realized that I can't eat it all, nor is it my job, and in fact it will kill me. Our culture runs rife with treats. More will appear, probably tomorrow. If I really want one, I can eat it then.
- Cake looks better than it tastes. So do a lot of other desserts. Yet somehow once I take it, I finish it. So I got in the habit of asking my husband to taste it first. If it did turn out to be extraordinary, I ordered one, or asked for an extra spoon. But usually it didn't, and coffee was fine.
- Restaurant meals are too big. I can't believe I used to clean my plate. Why? Stuffing the internal pantry again. Or afraid there wouldn't be more treats. Now I share or bring it for lunch the next day, sometimes two days.
- There is such a thing as a good salad, Years ago, I overheard a lady in a restaurant describing "a really good Salad Nicoise." I actually stopped eating. It had never, ever occurred to me, not once in my life, that there might be such a thing. How could a salad, any salad, be good? Well it can. I eat a lot of them, and I would shock my old self. I enjoy most of them.
- Find someone to be responsible to. Before I moved, I had an awesome doctor who quietly examined my blood sugar logs and made me explain every slip-up. Not comfortable, but highly motivating. My new doctor has me fax them in which has me relying on my husband more.
- Tell your doctor the truth. I kept trying to exercise, but migraines wiped me out, sometimes for days. After having my last baby, I finally went for help. What a difference the right medicine made! I also had to get shoe inserts to take care of wrenching fasciitis in my feet, and cortisone for tendinitis, but I was an idiot for letting myself live in pain for so many years, It was so bad that I couldn't get to my babies when they cried. What was I thinking? I let it keep me from exercising, but worse, I let it keep me from living.
- Enjoy the small victories, like fitting into an airplane seat or not being afraid to sit on the hood of a car. Or how about this one? Getting on a merry-go-round and not worrying that it will go up. I remember a humiliating ride at Great America that didn't. I've also had to clean out my closet twice, but I can finally wear the watch my employees gave me as a good-bye gift twenty years ago. And my daughter measures my success every time she hugs me.
I still have some unsolved issues. I drink too much Diet Pepsi. And my husband has to keep the junk food out of the kitchen because I can't handle it. I have serious weakness for sweets. Worse, I still struggle with regular exercise. Every time I get a pattern going, my migraines revisit. Thanks to good medicine, they pass, but they do cause inertia.
So where do I stand now? I'm hungry sometimes, and my meals are small. I always order salad, and I know who sells the good ones. I never order fries, but I have been known to eat my kid's leftovers. I do snack, but only a few bites. I ask my family to check out dessert for me. My daughters hate "this new healthy eating thing," but if they knew they were choosing to keep me alive, maybe they'd complain less. They're still kids. And I love them. Which was the whole point.
As of January 1, 2008, the District's Health Plan has been amended to add additional coverage for weight management and control. Please refer to the Employee Health Care Plan Benefit Booklet to learn more about these programs.